


After the Deed

by MovieWocher



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Clexa, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-07-13 03:00:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7135742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MovieWocher/pseuds/MovieWocher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After spending the night together, Lexa had a change in heart and sent Clarke away. This is what happened when they met again after ten years.</p><p>This is a fic I posted in Tumblr and reworked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	After the Deed

**Clarke’s POV**

Clarke woke up with a start. She was dreaming that she was falling into a deep and dark abyss. It took her a while before she realized that she was in Lexa’s room, in Lexa’s bed. She couldn’t help but smile, the dream all forgotten replaced with the memories of the night before. She can still remember every exhilarating touch and every intoxicating curve of Lexa’s body. Blindly she reached out to her side but found the bed empty.

“Lexa?” Clarke called as she sat up, holding up the fur blanket in front of her.

The emptiness of the room seems like a bad omen. Clarke dressed as fast as she can and went outside. She was surprised to see the guards still standing outside.

“Where is the Commander?”

“In the throne room.” One of the guard answered as he struggled to keep a smirk off his face.

“Thanks.” Clarke muttered as she walked. Even if she wasn’t worried, she was feeling a little bit embarrassed. Of course, it’s not like Lexa’s guards wouldn’t know or at the very least wonder what’s happened inside Lexa’s room. They definitely did not keep quiet last night.

In a few minutes, she was standing outside the throne room. The guards opened the door for her. Clarke stepped in and found Lexa sitting on her throne deep in thought.

Clarke cleared her throat to get her attention.

Lexa looked up in surprise.

“Clarke, you’re awake.” Lexa said as she stood up. She then turned to the guards inside the throne room and asked them to leave.

“You should have woken me.” Clarke said with a little smile when the door closed behind her.

“You looked so peaceful sleeping, I wouldn’t dare.” Lexa answered as she walked over to Clarke and smiled sadly at her. It wasn’t what Clarke expected.  

“What’s going on? Are you okay?” Clarke asked worried. Then a look of realization crossed over her face. “Are we okay?” She added in a whisper.

“I have to ask you one question, Clarke.” Lexa paused as she took a deep breath. “Will you stay here with me?”

“What? You know I can’t.” Clarke answered as her brows furrowed deeply. She couldn’t understand why Lexa was asking her. Lexa knew where she stood. It was her people above all. “I have to leave. I have to be with my people.”

“I knew that would be your answer. But I had to ask.” Lexa said sadly as she took a step back.

“What is this about?”

“As I watched you sleep earlier Clarke, I was filled with dread. I vividly remember what happened to Costia and I couldn’t let the same thing happen to you. I would do everything I can. Everything.” Lexa emphasized the last word. She then laughed humorlessly. “I’m the Commander of the 12 Clans, the Coalition. I cannot let my emotions get in the way. I cannot put one person ahead of everyone else. I sneered at Titus when he told me that to be a commander is to be alone. But I know that he was right.”

“We’ve been through this before.” Clarke said with an annoyed shrug. “Love is not —.”

“I cannot take any chances.” Lexa cut her off, sounding cold and distant. “I will always be thinking of you, of your safety, of your feelings, putting them above everything else. How can I do that to all these people who are counting on me to keep them safe and to lead them.”

“So what now?” Clarke quietly asked as she tried to blink back the tears that were starting to cloud her vision. She knew where this is heading.

“You leave. Go to your people. Fix your clan. Then assign a new ambassador to come here. I don’t want to see you ever again.” Lexa said as she turned her back from Clarke. “No one needs to know what happened between us. It is what’s best.”

Clarke just stood there, fidgeting, unable to stop the tears from falling. “Very smooth handling this Lexa. Is this what you tell your other conquest?”  

“You know that’s not true.” Lexa answered still with her back turned, sounding hurt with the accusation.

Clarke of course knew. She knew why Lexa is doing what she is doing. But it was infuriating that Lexa isn’t even trying. They maybe could have worked something out. She would be careful. She wouldn’t even mind if Lexa assigned guards to her. But as she stared at Lexa’s unmoving back, she knew that she has already made up her mind. Clarke took a deep breath and wiped the tears from her eyes. “As you commanded, Heda. Octavia and I will go through with our plan. And if it all goes well, the new ambassador will bring you the good news. We’ll be leaving within the hour.”

Lexa did not reply. After a minute of waiting, Clarke turned towards the door. Just before turning the handle, she took one last look at Lexa, silently begging for a change in heart. Seeing no movement or hearing no response, she finally left the room devastated.

**Lexa’s POV**

After hearing the door open and close, Lexa finally turned around. It was what she expected, an empty room. Emptier now, knowing that Clarke will never be back. Lexa finally wiped the tears that have been flowing since she told Clarke to go. She wanted to see her one last time, but she cannot face her knowing that her tears will betray her emotions. So as she was trained to do, she swallowed her feelings to appear strong.

Later that morning, Titus reported that Clarke and Octavia has left.

“Make sure that they are not harmed before they reached Arkadia. It will not serve us any good if they die before trying to fix their leader issues.” Lexa said stiffly. “And Titus, once it is over, they will be sending a new ambassador. Make sure to set up a meeting first thing.

“Very good, Heda.” Titus responded in approval.

“And Titus, select me one of our best warriors. I am in need of a sparring.”

“As you wish.” Titus walked out of the Throne Room.

That night, everyone in Polis was talking how the Commander badly beat up several warriors during her training.

 

**After a Few Years**

Lexa looked over the crowd. There was a festive feeling throughout the place. It’s been three years without war. Sure there are still arguments, heated discussions but that is a sign of healthy coalition, a coalition of 20 clans. She couldn’t help but feel proud of that accomplishment. She had already spoken earlier which ended in a thunderous applause. And now she was just sitting there, enjoying the moment. She was still scanning the crown when a blonde haired woman caught her attention. She sat up a little straighter. Is it her? And then the woman looked up. Lexa felt her heart stopped for a second. It was Clarke below, smiling and celebrating with the Skaikru.

“Aden.” Lexa called out to the young man at her side.

“Yes Heda?”

“I see Clarke of the Skaikru below. Invite her for a meeting tonight.”

Alden nodded with a smile.

That night, Lexa found herself more nervous that she had in years. She made decisions that started and ended wars, ordered people to their deaths. Externally she appeared stoic as she gave her commands but deep inside there were warring factions, several voices, where every decision she made was questioned and rebutted. If they only knew how sick she felt everytime. But that was nothing compared to what she was feeling right now. Her mind was a whirlwind of a mess. She debated if she should change clothes, light more candles, put in more guards, or cancel the meeting but at the end, she left things as they were. She deserves whatever will happen. She was pacing back and forth in the Throne Room, when there was a movement at the door.

“Heda. We have Clarke of the Skaikru.”

“Thank you Aden.” Lexa said as she dismissed him. Then she asked the guards to leave the room.

Clarke entered the room as the guards were leaving. She looked at their receding figure before turning her head towards Lexa. She found herself in the same spot, she was in ten years ago. It was suddenly stifling inside the room. They just stared at each other for a few seconds until Clarke spoke up and addressed Lexa formally.

“Heda, Aden has informed me that you wanted to see me. If this is a matter of me being here in Polis after you told me never to go back, we understood that the invitation you sent was for everyone.”

“No… I mean, ah yes. It is for everyone.” Lexa stuttered. She then took a deep breath to compose herself and sat at her throne. “I’m glad to see you, Clarke.”

Clarke nodded.

“Tell me about yourself. What has been happening with you?” Lexa continued.

“I’m doing fine, Heda. I’m part of Skaikru’s council and secondary Medical Officer. But since it’s been very quiet, I’ve been doing more of the latter.”

“That’s good.”

Another moment of awkward silence.

“If there is nothing else Heda, I’ll join my clan in the festivities below.” Without waiting for an answer, Clarke started to walk towards the door.

“Clarke, wait,” Lexa called out as she hurriedly stood up, walked over, and grabbed Clarke’s arm to stop her from walking out.

Clarke did not struggle. But she looked at Lexa’s hand on her arm and then at Lexa, challenging her to keep her grasp on her.

Unnerved, Lexa released Clarke’s arm. “I just want to talk to you. It’s been a long time and I have some things I needed to explain.”

“You have nothing to explain Heda. You did very well leading and building the coalition. If it was another commander, I’m sure it would have been different.”

“I don’t mean to talk about the coalition. I just want to…” Lexa trailed off unable to voice out her thoughts.

What do you want, Lexa?” For the first time, emotion colored Clarke’s voice. “Do you want to know how I’ve been since you sent me away? You want to know how I spent countless nights thinking and crying about you. You want to know how I had to hide my emotions from everyone else. You want to know how it messed me up seeing that maybe me being apart from you was the best course of action in all of these.”

“Clarke, I —“

“But don’t worry. I’m over it. After all these time, I was able to make sense of it all. I’m actually flattered that you think… thought of me that much to decide that I can cloud your decisions. And who can argue with your success? Imagine, 20 —.”

“Clarke, can you let me speak?” Lexa interrupted Clarke, sounding annoyed.

“I’m sorry, Heda. I forget myself sometimes. Apparently, a trait I never lost.”

Lexa tried to unsuccessfully hide the smile that broke out, that was the Clarke she remembered. Then she turned serious once again. “I want to say that it was never about you. It was about me, not being able to make the best tactical decisions because I’ll always be putting you ahead of everything and everyone else.” Lexa paused as she took another deep breath. “But I’ll tell you one thing, you have always been the voice of reason in my head. Whenever I have to make a decision, I ask myself what would Clarke cum Skaikru do. That helped me shape the coalition in what it is today.”  

Clarke features softened.

“I’m stepping down as Heda.” Lexa announced suddenly.

“What?” Clarke asked, not bother to hide the shock in her voice.

“I have given everything that I can. I have achieved everything that I dreamed of for the coalition. I trust that the next commander would continue to bring about peace to our people.”

“But Commanders cannot step down, they die. And those kids, they’ll have to kill each other.”

“Rules can change, Clarke. You showed me that. There’ll be no deaths in this transition. In 3 months, I will announce the new Commander.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Clarke asked.

“It was by design that you are here Clarke. I specifically asked for you but told them not to tell you. But of course, I wasn’t sure if you’ll come.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“I’m telling you this because I was hoping for another chance.”

“What makes you think that I am still…?” Clarke stopped as she realized the answer to her question. All these years, she has remained alone. She’s always surrounded by people, by her friends, her mom, but she has always been alone… just like Lexa. “Of course, you knew.”

“I’m sorry Clarke. Even after all I’ve said, I had to ensure that you were safe. I had my most trusted people watching over you and they told me things…”

“Lexa, it’s been 10 years. I don’t know if I can trust you. We hardly know each other.”

“That is true. But we have time… if you’ll allow it.”

Clarke glared at Lexa. “Your words as Heda I do not question. But your words as Lexa…”

Lexa winced at the Clarke’s accusation. “I deserve that.” She said quietly as she bowed her head in defeat.

“If you ever send me away again or break any of your promises, there’ll be no third time.” Clarke spoke up after a minute of silence.

Lexa looked up hopefully.

“I swear to God, Lexa. And don’t presume that we can start off where we left ten years ago. You’ll have to work for it.”

“Clarke, I don’t have a good track record of promises with you. But this I’ll tell you, if ever you’ll go, it’s because you want to.” Lexa vowed as she stared deep into Clarke’s eyes.

Even with all the apprehension that she felt, Clarke knew what her answer will be. It will always be yes. Gingerly, she reached out for Lexa’s hand and gently squeezed it. She felt her vision cloud as tears sprang in her eyes. She has waited so long for this and looking at Lexa, she knew that she did as well.   


End file.
